Eat to live, live to eat, eat to hide a horrible disease.
You know you have one of them days when you wake up with a spot or a cold sore, well today is that day for me. It’s neither of them but I don’t know which is worse as the start of psoriasis breakout. My earliest memory of psoriasis was a small child. Mum told me she first noticed it when I was a baby I had a spot under my eye.
Today is the day that the spot reappears. How do I feel, shit. My earliest memory is spent at the Children’s Hospital in Manchester, Gartside Street for those of you that know Manchester in the 70’s. I remember the skin hospital with shivers, a shaved head and cold tar baths is my memory of quite a lot of time of my childhood. The neighbours must’ve thought that my mum had no money whatsoever as I spent many winters dressed in a green swimming costume with a white frill on the bum. The thought of cold tar growing up makes me heave. I do feel very lucky overall as the years have gone on my psoriasis is varied from mild to moderate to severe.
When finding the spot on the face made me feel sick as I thought here we go again what’s round the corner. What I’ve learnt is my psoriasis tends to flareup in spring. It goes one way or the other either horrendously bad on moderately good. Recently I had a streptococcal throat infection which triggered latest bout of psoriasis. Treated with steroids which held at bay for some time, but eventually made it much much worse. I’ve learnt to live with my psoriasis and have a lots of coping mechanisms to deal with this.
A couple years ago my psoriasis was the worst it’s ever been. Sorry if it makes you sick the pictures but would like to be honest and hopefully help other psoriasis sufferers who are feeling trapped, burnt and sad. It took me some time to think what can I do to help myself. A lady at work recommended some meditation as an alternative solution. I’ve got to the point of not wanting to use every steroid, I’ve been using for far too long and the GPs advice shouldn’t continue. I couldn’t have UV light treatment as both parents had had skin cancer so this was a no no, I was desperate to try anything, only so long before your resilience cracks and I was very close.
Psoriasis spread to my nails, I put up with the pain until it became too bad. Braving the chiropodist and seeing her face said it all, 8 nails needed removing but started with my 2 big toes. I felt sick. I list have been.a dream case as she said it was the worse case and could they document. 2 hours practically pain free but only just the start, the after care was my problem. Trying hardest in February to keep toes dry but I covered = nightmare… I’ve used tea tree oil under my toe nails and finger nails and much better. Know only delaying the inevitable but can’t tell you how hard it is to get your nails done without nails, it’s a bloody nightmare and tried false, gel etc. but doesn’t work, I know resort to painting my skin and hope no-one will notice….
My first memories of being a mum to 2 babies is between feeds trying to calm down my psoriasis and anything cool. Childbirth triggered the worst case of psoriasis for as as long as I can remember. With the second child and tragically I lost my brother age 37 which potentially triggered another bout of psoriasis and something which took quite some time to clear, my mental health wasn’t in its usual Rolls Royce state.
This pattern continued to escalate and now I’m 45 and probably my psoriasis is it the best it’s ever been. I’m learned quite some time ago that eating right was potentially the only way to get my psoriasis under control. About six years ago I took part in a private study which had to contribute quite heavily towards weekly. Whilst yes it fully cleared my psoriasis and lost 4 1/2 stone in 10 weeks but that was down to exercise too. Don’t ask me what happened all went a bit wrong. I couldn’t sustain this level of feeding take around 600 cal a day and then having to stop as it made me poorly. Yes my psoriasis were completely clear but on the downside I was starving miserable grumpy so on so on.
I took up meditating and did a course called find your inner goddess run by local lady who had the most amazing spirit spiritual presence i’ve ever known. Mr C mimicked me every week with all the jokes around spirits, mumbo jumbo, women mantras haha, didn’t stop me made me more determined to find this inner goddess!! Not normally one to do this kind of thing I went with it, it was eight weeks and £75. I’ve spent more on moisturisers. So surprised at the difference it made to my life as a happier mum, happier wife and learned to cope a lot better with my psoriasis – that wiped his smug look from his face….. Paint a smile on your face while underneath the thoughts of your skin burning clinging to jumpers and cardigans in summer made a miserably VonVon.
We went on a fantastic holiday to France with the children and other kids ridiculed mine in the pool trying to get away from me, she’s got a disease. To this date both children aged 11 and 12 fully appreciate that everybody has their flaws and they get really defensive when people comment on my skin. It breaks my heart to see them upset and I will do anything then rather see them with psoriasis.
On the plus side I feel absolutely wonderful now. I’m embracing clean eating, yes I do slip, yes I am human complemented with lots and lots of exercise at www.sevenmovement.co.uk and nutrition advice from the lovely Kate at Seven Nutrition. This has to be a way of life for me not a fad diet.
Psoriasis can be the most horrible depressing illness that anybody could have and the comments “it doesn’t look that bad” although not intentional only meant as support makes you want to actually rip the person’s head off but know that they’re only saying that because they care. The picture above was the worst that I’ve had for many years I wanted to share this to help other people. I truly truly believe that one of the magic keys to keeping my psoriasis at bay is eating well, looking after my health and my mental well-being. I’ve. Id not been doing any of that and ended up fat and scabby, meditating been all-round happy medication. That’s the magic secret for me.
OK now I’ve discovered coconut oil. A friend gave it to me from her mum who is having cancer treatment. I thought I’ll give anything ago if I could tell you the amount of money are spent over the years and every concoction going to try and help my psoriasis I’d be a very very rich lady. Coconut oil has been amazing for my skin, taken orally using oil slobbering all over your skin has made such a huge huge difference. Who would’ve thought a bit of grease in a tub would go along way.
I’m more determined than ever to keep this change of lifestyle where I can, won’t lie it’s hard and have small blips but embracing it and having my friend ‘bubbles’ aka Champagne when I can. Waking up this morning with a spot under my eyes filled me with dread but let’s look at it in the grand scheme of things, it could be worse…… happy healthy and grateful ?